Super Rookie’s World

Today I watched ‘The Big Lebowski.’ It is a wonderful movie. It is a really bad movie when you are watching while riding your bicycle indoors on a trainer. Today was the first time I rode my trainer in about a year. Normally I will ride my trainer to get ready for a race or to warm up. In the winter months I ride it to stay in shape and get my body ready for the upcoming season. I must admit that I have set up a nice little area in our main living room which is complete with a nice table fan to keep me cool for when the temperature inevitably rises in the stale air our living room.

My big goals for the upcoming season is to upgrade to Category 3 on the road and Category 2 on the track. Individual goals for 2006 are to finally break 12.0seconds in the flying 200m and break 1:14.00 in the kilometer. So I guess we will see if I will be able to do that. Hopefully, all the work in the weightroom and on the trainer will pay off this summer. It better pay off because the trainer really sucks!

The main reason that I want to get to Category 3 on the road is that I will no longer have to worry about the 4/5 crash fest. I am not saying that Cat. 3 doesn’t have its own crash problem, but the way I figure it is that I will be way off the back in Cat. 3 races so I won’t really have to worry about somebody hooking my bars.

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So in case you have some left over money to spend for the holidays here is my complete Christmas list:

1. Set of Kreitler Rollers.
2. Electric Razor.
3. Scion Car.
4. X-Box 360
5. Giro d’ Italia 2005 dvd(which is available at World Cycling Productions. Just ask for dispencer and he will rush it up to the front for you. This is because he is a lackey in the warehouse which is located at: 2225 University Ave. right across the street from the offices of The Center For Victims Of Torture).

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Today I got an email from a good friend of mine that helped me a lot when I was still in college. His name is Dave Monteyne and he is now an associate professor at the University of Calgary. Dave is originally from Canada and just sent his dissertation in to his doctorate committee. He is doing his research on cold-war architecture. He even included my name in the footnotes! This is because one day he was over at my house in St. Paul and was walking out the door and saw a sticker on the door jamb that told the occupants where the closest bomb shelter was in case of a nuclear attack from the evil commies. Because of this chance view of a tiny sticker I can now say that “I am actually a footnote in history.” See you really don’t need a college education to be successful!

The funny thing about Dave moving to Calgary was that I always thought he was responsible for the ‘hits’ that are coming into my site from that city. But, he told me that this was the first time he had been to my website. So there are a couple www.super-rookie.com viewers from the great northwest that like to check out the site. How rad is that? If you include all of the people from Malaysia and Korea that find my website after googling ‘super rookie’ at about 2am Chicago time it is easy for me to say “I am global!”

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On Friday I have a sit down meeting with a gentleman from SRAM. I sent him an email after I got his contact information from a well respected person in the industry. Although I don’t think that they are hiring at this point I want to get my foot in the door for the possibility of future employment. The problem that I am having is that I don’t know what to wear on Friday. I kind of want to ride there to show my dedication and it isn’t all that far from my house, but at the same time I don’t want to get my pants all slushy because of the pending snow. So what should I wear? A tie(pre-tied from my brothers wedding in 2003) might be nice, but a little to serious for a bike company. Khakis and a sweater? Sarah’s bathrobe?

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I have to go now. Sarah wants attention.

Today I watched for the second time in the last five months ‘Garden State’ which stars Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. Braff also was the writer and the director of the movie. I remember distinctly liking the movie the first time I watched it all the way up until the end. I figured I would give in another shot just to see if I had missed a message of some kind that would justify the crappy ending. Nope.

What is it with movies? Why do they have to set you up for a great viewing experience only to let you down so hard? ‘Garden State’ in my mind has the makings of a wonderful movie; great actors, wonderful cinematography, dry wit and among other things an awesome soundtrack. Yet, in the end it lets me down, way down.

While in college I began to discover that ‘the happy ending’ is an American fascination. We always want the underdog to succeed, the guy get the girl and the good guy win. But, in reality it doesn’t always happen that way. The underdog almost always loses(except when #15 seed Hampton beats #2 seed Iowa State in March Madness), the guy doesn’t always get the girl, and good guy usually loses(like when Hulk Hogan is attacked by Andre the Giant’s manager in Wrestle Mania V).

So here is my incomplete list of movies that start out strong, but in the end fail to achieve greatness.

This list is expandable with your own additions in the comment area of this blog!

1. ‘Citizen Kane’ why would you end the movie in the beginning with a word like “Rosebud?” If I was involved with the making of this movie I would have burnt the sled right away.

2. ‘The Village’ almost anything M. Night Shyamalan does has a really crappy ending. ‘Sixth Sense’ is another example. Dumb dumb dumb dumb endings. Wait. I almost forgot another one of his movies that has a crappy ending ‘Unbreakable.’ I kind of liked ‘Unbreakable’ but then I saw the rest of his movies and they are all the same.

3. ‘The Titanic’ sure the boat sinks. But, mix it up a little bit. Save DiCaprio and the rest of the poor schmucks for once. This movie, according to IMDB has been remade 8 times prior to the 1997 blockbuster. James Cameron had the possibility to change history! If he would of done this I wouldn’t have been subjected to hearing how sad the movie was in 11th grade.

4. ‘Rambo: First Blood Part II’ this is by far the best Rambo movie. We get to see justice American style! Whoooo hoooo. I love the steroids that Stalone is on in this one. I bet Lance and Roberto wouldn’t mind a little bit of that action! This movie would be a lot better if Rambo died. Because then we wouldn’t be subjected to having to watch Rambo III were he is fighting alongside future members of the Taliban in Russian occupied Afghanistan.

5. ‘American Flyers’ This movie was great because I never thought Kevin Costner was going to die. They led me along like a sheep and then all of a sudden he is the one with the cancer, or whatever it was that was going to finish him, but didn’t because the movie was made in Hollywood.

6. ‘Chinatown’ don’t even get me started with the ending of this movie. Pointless!

7. ‘East Lake Story’ This movie isn’t known by many people, but it premiered the other night in Minneapolis at a bike messenger film festival. It was going great until dispencer died at the end, for a girl. It was really tragic, but in the sequel my character continues on to become the leader of the Unicorns and takes out all the Scorpion haters. RIP dispencer.

Well add your favorite movie that has a crappy ending. Here are just a few that come to my mind; ‘Panic Room,’ ‘Weekend at Bernies,’ and ‘Top Gun.’

What a great day. It was a beautiful 55 degrees here in Chicago. I woke up really early at 11AM and made a few phone calls. One of which I placed to the company that owns Lake Cycling. I never knew that the company responsible for the best cycling boots on the market was located in Evanston. The company only has 3 full time workers and 2 part timers. I was hoping to just network for the possibility of a position in the future.

After working out at the YMCA I decided to ride my bike around a little bit. I rode a little bit out of my way towards the ‘deep northside.’ While up there I found a really cool neighborhood that is called Ravenswood Manor. It has a lot of nice homes and some really cool brick three flat brick apartment buildings. Directly across the north branch of the Chicago river is the Ravenswood neighborhood. This neighborhood also is really cool. It has a main street feel and also is on my short list of places to move to next year if Sarah and I decide to stay in Chicago.

Upon getting back I found out that the GOP has yet another little scandal on their hands. This one involves an 8-term congressman that took over $2.4 million in bribes mostly from defense contractors in exchange for government contracts and other hook-ups. At least Randy (Duke) Cunningham admitted to the entire ordeal. Here is a nice little link to the AP story.

I am also checking www.smithersmpls.com constantly for updates regarding the pending birth of a child. Smithers is an active blogger, racer and Democrat in Minneapolis. I wish him the best.

By far the most important news of the last couple of days relates to my Canadian readers!

The 96th Grey Cup was won by the Edmonton Eskimos 38-35 over the Montreal Alouettes. The game was played before 59,000+ and a huge television audience of over 4 million. Sadly, I wasn’t able to watch the game on television, but I have read that it was the best Grey Cup to date. I only wish someday to watch the Winnipeg Blue Bombers take on the Calgary Stampede in Calgary. When I get to do that I will be a complete human being.

Perhaps my favorite thing about the CFL is that it seems devoid of Terrel Owens and other obnoxious players. It is a league that has brought Doug Flutie to hero status and allowed me to know that Saskatchewan really existed.

Oh. Everyone should bookmark this site. It allows you to not have to register to use websites…

Bug Me Not

Monday the 28th of November is the night that all of you have been waiting for. I will be making my big screen debut at the 1st Annual Minneapolis Bike Messenger Association Bike Messenger Film Night. Movies made by messengers have been sent in from all over the country for this and I bet it will be an awesome time. I wish I was in town for this one, but I am busy pursuing my acting career down here in Chicago.

On The Go: Movies by Messengers
10PM
Oak Street Theatre(Off of Washington Ave in Stadium Village by the U of M)
$2

Two dollars is not a lot of money to hang out and watch a mixture of bike movies. Of course the main event is the World Premier of “East Lake Street Story” which stars all of your local bike messenger heroes from the MBMA! It is an awesome movie that features me in a very important supporting role.

At the event you will also be able to help support the MBMA in its quest of throwing another great Stupor Bowl. Not only will you be able to pick up some fliers for this years race, you will be able to buy your very own Limited Edition MBMA socks! These socks are not to be missed! Get your very own pair and pick up some for your mom for Christmas!

In other news…

Recently the USCF moved the venue of the 24 Hour Mountain Bike National Championships to the Nine Mile County Forest just east of Wausau, Wisconsin. 9-Mile as it is commonly known as is a really nice system of trails. I had the privilege of racing at the 24 Hours of 9 Mile in 2004 with a couple of friends and my sister-in-law’s brother. It was a totally rad time and I can’t wait to be able to go back again. That year we got third in the single-speed category. We got beat by a bunch of 18year old kids from Iowa. But, we had a cooler name- Monocog.

This year I didn’t do any mountain bike racing because of the move to Chicago at the end of the summer. I was planning on doing both 9-mile and 24 Hours of Afton. Afton was the first mountain biking race I ever entered. It is a really hilly course and both times I entered I was dumb enough to go along with a single speed team. All of my experiences in 24 hour races have been memorable. The best part of a 24 hour race is the camaraderie between all of the racers. You stay up all night with your buddies around a campfire and eating really great food and drinking lots of beer.

Food, Friends, Bikes, Beer. Sounds like a winning combination to me.

Greetings,

I am proud to inform you that my life long nemesis Kesuke Miyagi known to most as Mr. Miyagi has kicked the can. He was always a weak man that could not stand up to the challenge of running a successful dojo. I have been in the business for over twenty years and continually produce champions that live by the Cobra Kai “Way of the Fist.”

*Strike First
*Strike Hard
*Show No Mercy

It is sad that my career as a sensei is remembered by a single loss at the All Valley Karate Championships. But, Daniel LaRusso never amounted to much after that single victory. He tried a couple of comebacks, two to be exact, and none were as good as the original.

It was pure luck that he was able to beat my star pupil Johnny Lawrence that day.

Miyagi never did understand the Cobra Kai way. I repeatedly had to tell him, “We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. A man confronts you in the street, and he is your enemy, and an enemy deserves no mercy.” In this picture you can see how far behind the old man was in the modern teachings of a successful sensei.

It is great to know that in the long run I am the victor. The old man couldn’t last in the real world. He was never willing to “Sweep the leg.”

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving! Mine was sweeter than ever.

Sincerly,

Cobra Kai Sensei
John Kreese

Yesterday I had the honor of spending Thanksgiving with my Aunt and Uncle in the suburbs of Chicago. Surprisingly the commuter train I was on didn’t derail or hit any cars. I was one of three first time guests to this traditional meal that has been held since 1970! It was quite interesting to see a family that has consistently gotten together like that. For some of the attendees this is the only form of Thanksgiving they know. It was a lot of fun with of course lots of great food and mediocre football.

But, the halftime show during the Dallas Denver game was absolutely fantastic! Sheryl Crow sang a couple of her really awesome hits and we got to see my favorite bicycle racer no less than three times on the sidelines cheering her on! Way to go Lance Armstrong! Come back and race! You are my favorite bicycle racer ever and millions of others as well! I get so very excited when you are on the cover of every single World Cycling Productions catalog that I get! You are so cleeeeaaaan! The French just hate us Americans and are taking out their outrage on you!

At this time I would like to inform my family that the annual Ghent Six-Day bicycle race is held every year at this time. So if everything goes to plan(like winning Paris-Tours) I will be spending Thanksgiving in Belgium watching the historic Six-Day that has been going on for ages! Hopefully, Sarah will want to come as well. But, it is Six-Days of straight bicycle racing! Sarah is wonderful in her ability to watch bicycle racing and understand what is going on. But, I don’t know if she will be capable of talking, living, and watching track racing for SIX DAYS STRAIGHT. Wait a second. She lives with me and does it 365 DAYS STRAIGHT. I am pretty thankful for her.

I added a new weblog to my side column. It is written by another pretend bicycle racer in Missouri. I don’t think I have ever met Ryan personally, but he has a cool site and a SRM Power Meter that he constantly tells his readers about. I wish I was that cool.

Wait.

More good news!

I got a call back from a certain bicycle product importer based in the suburbs of Chicago. I had applied for a position there a few weeks ago and never heard anything back. I also tried to call them and left a message and still didn’t get a call back. But, on the night before Thanksgiving at 10PM while I was out riding with some friends I got a call from the gentleman that is responsible for doing the hiring. He told me that they haven’t made any decisions, but that they have my resume and they hope to finalize something by Christmas time. He mentioned that there are a few part-timers that might want the full time position. But, he said that he will keep in touch. I am pretty excited. I think I would be the most awesome employee he will ever have. Guaranteed.

Finally, let’s all collectively laugh at Roberto Heras! He got caught and now he is denying it! Hardy Har Har. Should I feel sorry for him? No. He cost me $20 dollars. Next year I will not be drafting him for my fantasy cycling team. I have integrity! I won’t draft dopers……that I know about. I prefer to turn a blind eye to all things professional cycling! For instance, next year I won’t be drafting David Millar who just signed a nice contract with Saunier Duval. This former world champion admitted to doping two years ago in June and will be reinstated just one week prior to the Tour de France.

Thanks for coming and checking out my website today!

I want to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving. Due to the enormous amount of invitations that I had this year to spend the holiday with lots of different people it was a really tough decision on who was going to be graced with my company on such an important day of the year. This year I am going to be eating with my wonderful Aunt Jean and Uncle Denny in the Chicago suburb of Glen Elyn. There are going to be over 35 people at the house today. I am excited to not be the center of attention for once on a holiday. Because I am so popular it is difficult to go to a Thanksgiving dinner and savor my food. Someone always wants to talk to me about trivial stuff, such as, my schoolwork, family, winning the Tour de France in 1999, and/or a job. I just kind of wanted to play it anonymous this year. I am looking forward to being “that weird guy” in the corner.

If you are in my family and are reading this site because you are all together on this day and it came up in a topic of conversation I would like to say that you are not trivial and I miss you all very much. I am just a little short on money right now(I haven’t won any big races……yet).

Sarah is gone for the weekend. She went back home to Minneapolis for the first time since we moved here. She seemed really excited yesterday on the train. I think this has more to do with the fact that she was going to get away from me for four days than being able to go home! Wouldn’t you be thrilled to have a little time off from me? Ha.

Well, I am off to catch the commuter train. It is a really safe train that has only had two major accidents since we moved here three months ago. Last night it slammed into some cars that were stopped on the tracks. Thankfully no one was killed!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now get off the internet and eat more turkey. Or, if you are tired of your family and friends go to the bar and have a shot of Wild Turkey!

Friend in a bottle!

I got a phone call today at about 9AM from a gentleman that wished to interview me for a job at the United Center. The United Center is the home of the Chicago Bulls and Blackhawks. They were hiring for Club Level servers. Basically I would walk around the arena in the really expensive seats with a handheld computer that I type orders into. The orders then go to the kitchen and a runner runs the food and drinks out. Knowing this I grabbed the nicest pair of khakis that I own and proceeded to put on a nice dress shirt and one of the pre-tied ties that I still have from my brothers wedding that was over two years ago. I must say that I looked very nice.

I went down to the United Center and had to proceed in filling out an application. They already had my résumé so I felt that they had a decent idea of who I was and what job I wanted. I was expecting a lot of people to be there since he had called me on Sunday afternoon to schedule and interview and it took him over two days to get back to me. But, I was the only one there. I filled out the application after it took me a while to convince the security guard that I was not going to steal one of his Bic pens. He had a huge box of them, but was very concerned that I was going to take one for some reason. Normally I bring my own pen to job interviews, but today the pen I brought fell out of my pocket when I was reaching for my wallet when I was trying to get onto the bus.

After filling out my application a gentleman dressed in a nice suit came a got me and we made our way to an office in the back of the United Center. There I had an interview. It was really straight forward. Two gentlemen sat me down and talked to me for about 3 minutes and then got up and left. They stood outside for about 15 seconds and came back in with a bunch of paperwork. They informed that the job is union and that I would be charged $30 a month in dues, but would be making $5.99 an hour plus tips. I start on game nights at 4:30PM and go until about 10PM depending on the progress of the game. At this point they also notified me that I would have to take a drug test.

The horror! I have never taken a drug test before. I know it may be a shock to many of you because of my stellar racing career and all, but I have never had to pee into a cup for ‘the man.’ Now, I have absolute faith that I am going to pass this test. I have been a good little boy and have nothing to hide. Because of the pending holiday and my need for a paycheck I walked right to the clinic upon finishing the mountain of paperwork.

As I walk into the clinic I feel a certain awkwardness come over me. I all of a sudden feel guilty. This clinic is also one of those places that you can donate blood plasma for money. So the employees don’t really care for each individual person that comes in there. To them you are just a number. Literally.

I was number 35 on the deli counter number thingy. They were on number 29 when I got there. About 15 minutes later this really big guy came out and called my name. He brought me into the “drug room.” It consisted of a sink with soap and paper towels and a toilet with a real tiny divider waste high. He gave me a cup and told me, “fill it between the 40 and 60.” I waited a good ten seconds before I realized that he would be leaving the room. He also told me not to flush the toilet. This is of course in case I brought in a bottle of urine or the Minnesota Vikings favorite fake prosthesis “The Wizinator.” Filling that cup between 40 and 60 midstream is a really tough thing to do! I stopped at about 59. I hope that they have enough to work with!

I felt really guilty while I was peeing. Never before in my life have a felt so guilty while relieving myself. Trust me I have gone to the bathroom outside in many awkward places. My favorite was in the middle of the customs station upon entering Canada while in college at Northern Michigan University. I really had to go and I wasn’t allowed in the building for some reason. I guarantee that I would never of been allowed in that fair country if they saw me fertilizing the asphalt. The guilt that I felt was completely uncalled for, but I felt for a brief second that they might find something in my urine. Such as a high hemocrit level or that I was pregnant!

I find out in about a week if I pass. I don’t think I have had any poppy seed bagels or any EPO lately so I am not to concerned. As far as working there I am kind of excited yet at the same time I am kind of not. I really want to work in the bicycle industry. I hope that I haven’t put the kibosh on that with my most recent phone call to a prospective employer. It went a little like this:

Me: Hi. Can I speak to Mr. X? (man responsible for hiring)
Them: Just a second. Can I tell him who is calling?
Me: Yes, super-rookie.
Them: Ummmm. He is at lunch. Can I give you his voice mail? (It was 2PM and a good 15 seconds between the Ummmm and the notification of his lunch.
Me: Yes. I leave a very brief message with my phone number and reason for calling.

I never got a call back. Perhaps I should of read the ad a little bit closer that said “No Phone Calls.” But, you all know me. I get my mind set on something and I do all I can to attain it. Oh well. I hope to get that job. Perhaps I should not of called. Darn.

In other news…

I wish I was in Ghent, Belgium right now with Bob Williams watching the Six Days. I hope to be there next year. Velonews did a nice story about the bell at the race and here is the cyclingnews.com coverage of the race. Marty Nothstein is the only American in the race and is currently quite a few points and laps down after just one night.

The San Fran Grand Prix is all over. Most of this stems from the inability of Threshold Sports to pay $90,000 to the police department for staffing the race. While I believe that contracts should be fulfilled it seems as if the police department doesn’t quote the ammount of money it will cost until well after the fact. It also is a shame that an event that brings in over 10.2 million dollars to the local economy and attracts over 200,000 fans falls upon the shoulders of a single company to pay the bill. Bicycle races don’t make money. They promote the atmosphere of a city! The city should take the $200,000 windfall because of the overall benefit! Here is a nice article in the San Francisco Chronicle about this.

Tyler Hamilton is the one rider that I never believed would ever use drugs. Mostly, because he has a certain toughness to him. How can you deny his drive with his fourth place finish in the Tour with the broken collarbone or his second place finish at the Giro in 2002 with a dislocated shoulder and the 15 teeth that had to be capped due to grinding his teeth in pain?

I felt that he was a going to be the first American rider to be able to eclipse the shadow of Lance Armstrong. Instead he is as revered as Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson for testing positive for a homologous blood transfusion. Tyler has been steadfast in his denial of using doped blood in order to increase his hopes for winning a gold medal and standing on the podium in France. He has even hired a bunch of big name lawyers to state his case. He even was able to keep his gold medal that he stole in Athens because the lab ‘screwed’ up and froze the B sample that confirms a positive test.

Tyler, my hero, you are coming to the end. In January, the Court for the Arbitration in Sport will hand down the final decision in your long drawn out case. Although, Tyler has brought up some valuable questions regarding the testing of athletes for EPO and other drugs he has come up short in being able to explain the presence of another persons blood in his body. He even tried to suggest that he had the rare blood disease chimera. This is to say that Tyler naturally produces two different types of blood cells because while growing in his mother’s womb he was a single part of a twin pregnancy. Overtime the other Tyler disappeared and that is why he has two forms of DNA in his blood. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. But, in the end he is just another ex-US Postalteammate of Lance Armstrong that has been busted for using drugs. Read more about Tyler and his case here.

The test that successfully caught Tyler Hamilton was first used in Athens. I think it is very ironic that Mr. Lance bowed out of an Olympic bid shortly after the unveiling of this new testing procedure. Kind of makes me want to know what he is on! If he was on EPO back in 1999 and they hadn’t found a way to test for it back then it only makes me wonder what his samples are going to turn up 6 years from now.

What do you suggest we do about this?

I am almost to the point that we should let the pros due whatever they want. If they are willing to take the risk and use drugs that in the long run will affect their body then so be it. I just want to see some racing anyways. But, if some jackass beats me in my pretend cycling races here in the Upper Midwest because of dope that, of course, is a different story.

Baseball fans are just beginning to feel the pain us cycling fans have been feeling since 1998. But, something most of us have known and come to realize since the days of Eddy Merckx or Tommy Simpson.

In other news!

For immediate release=

Chicago IL-LSM Creative which is owned and operated by Kevin Hayes has proudly signed on to sponsor Super Rookie for the upcoming season. In return for a listing on the websites “Sponsors” page, Kevin has donated a lot of time in creating a new logo for Super-Rookie.com. It can be seen on the front page of the website. Kevin will also help with other design related issues regarding to the branding of Super-Rookie.com.

This sponsorship has been brewing for quite sometime. The two really got to know each other over 24 years ago when Kevin first met Super Rookie at a cleaning function in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. At first the two were at odds with each other because of Super Rookies ability to garner all of the attention. But, over time the relationship was sealed with lots of swinging and playing “army.”

“I am really looking forward to working with Super-Rookie.com in the coming years. This sponsorship will help take my design company to the next level as I will be able to put this in my portfolio as I approach many important prospective clients.” Kevin Hayes stated in a recent announcement.

Hayes continued on to say, “Super-Rookie.com is a beacon of hope to all upcoming racers and bloggers across the country. I can only hope that the website will continue to keep the world informed of their favorite pretend bike racer. I mean favorite real racer.”

Super Rookie, obviously very excited about this new deal states, “I will continue to make this site the most important site anyone will ever visit. I can only hope that other people will stop making their own personal websites and will only read mine.”

LSM Creative can be found here.

This is how most of you remember me before I moved:

But, for the over the past month I have been going to the YMCA four to five times a week. I am doing this in order to increase my physical strength and help me in my quest of getting out of the Cat. 4 field on the road. During this past season on the road I found myself being able to stay with the pack for the majority of the races that I entered. This is a huge step up from the previous season where I had lots of difficulty just staying in the race. I am hoping that the weight training and some minimal cross-training including swimming and racquetball will help me get to that next level! I will be continuing the weight training through the middle of February. At this point I will start to increase the amount of time and miles of on the bike training.

Weight training sucks. I have tried three different YMCA locations to find the one that suits me. I first went to the Y that is located in Wrigleyville. My muscles weren’t big enough to hang out there. I also don’t like to grunt when I lift weights. ‘Grunters’ are by far the worst people to have in a workout facility. These people sound like Monica Seles every time they complete one rep on the bench press. It is really annoying. The second Y I went to is right down the street. I felt welcome there, but it didn’t have a pool. So the Y that Sarah and I frequent is in the Polish neighborhood of Chicago. It is a short five minute trip on the ‘L’ train. My ‘guns’ are of adequate size and the grunting is kept to a minimum at the Irving Park YMCA.

Here is a brief list of the exercises that I do:

Touch toes.
Bench press.
Curls.
Sit-ups.
Leg press.
Leg curls.
Leg extensions.
Squats(kind of weird).
Calf extensions.

I assure you that when you see the size of muscles you will all be completely blown away.

Here is a little glimpse of what to expect the next time you see me.