Super Rookie’s World

I decided against doing the Stupor Bowl today. If you would have asked me 5 years ago if I would ever miss the race I would have laughed in your face and probably hit you. Over the past 5 editions of the race I would have stopped at nothing to compete against others. Crap, I even put the race on one year with the Klempp (not an easy task). Yet, in the end, I just don’t care to ride around to various bars as fast as I can.

Maybe in the future I will race in it again. I will probably never win the damn thing which is what I wanted, but I will settle for the decent results I have had in the race and sleep well knowing that I helped grow the event into the monster that it is today. It isn’t every day that a bunch of un-organized organizers get a cover story in a weekly…yet it follows in the same footsteps every year.

The Stupor Bowl is a good time.

It isn’t what I consider fun anymore.

P.S. The Little Guy should have another decent shot at it.

On the morning of February 3rd, 2005 the Stupor Bowl jumped the shark.

It was the day that The Klempp and I got the map and listing of the Stupor Bowl stops published in the middle page of The Onion:

While there was bound to be more than 100 racers at the event due to the 7 succesful years of the event it was one of the first editions of the race to go all out with shameless promotion (are you surprised?). We got interviewed for both of the dailies, the Skyway News, Minnesota Daily and by MPR. It was quite the buildup to race day and when I woke up on Stupor Bowl Saturday and was greeted with 50degree weather I knew it was going to be big. Little did I know that over 200 riders were going to show up and we would soon sell out of shirts, in addition too, running out of manifests. The final tally was 236 paid entrants and quite a few more tagging along for fun.

One of the biggest differences from the year before was the prize list. When I finished in third place for Stupor Bowl 7 all I got was a u-lock. Third place for Stupor Bowl 8 got a frame. When Little Guy won Stupor Bowl 7 he got $60 and the yellow bag. The winner of Stupor Bowl 8 got a new bag, swobo jacket and new track wheels. We had so many damn prizes from sponsors that it would be next to impossible to list them all, but lots of people walked away with cool prizes for the variety of races that were put on.

One of the lasting pieces of this race is the shirt that each racer got with their paid registration. I still see the shirt around town on a variety of people and even saw it in Chicago when I was living there with Sarah. It is hands down the best t-shirt design I have ever seen for a bicycling event. The shirts at various pro races don’t even come close to the creativity and execution of the Stupor Bowl 8 shirt.

The rise in popularity of the Stupor Bowl was bound to happen. Yet, having a friend with access to high quality printing surely helped. In fact, after the year I threw the race it was (dis)’s turn to put on the show and he did an equally admirable job with the Prince theme. Every year since then it has gotten bigger and more and more racers show up for the event. Yet, for every 300 people that show up only 30-40 really race. The rest just enjoy the pub crawl.

My favorite part of the year I helped promote the race was utilizing the old “Level H” stamp at the Dayton’s/Marshall Field’s parking garage. Riders were asked to get a enterance ticket and have it stamped in the elevator lobby on the 8th floor of the garage. Naturally, some of the riders weren’t the smartest and they rode all the way to the top rather than using the elevator. This stop was a lot better than the ‘telephone’ stop from the 9th St. payphone across from the Campbell Mithun tower that appeared in Stupor Bowl 9.

If you asked me a few years ago if I would ever miss a Stupor Bowl I would have laughed in your face. Now, I don’t know if I will go on Saturday. The only reason I will go is to see if the Little Guy can become a member of the elite “Three Timer’s Club” with Jay Gropen. One can only hope, but with Kevin in from Milwaukee the race will be fast and close.

Picture from Stupor Bowl 9 that ran in Skyway News:

My past Stupor Bowl results:

• Stupor Bowl VII: 3rd
• Stupor Bowl IX: 5th
• Stupor Bowl X: DNF
• Stupor Bowl XI: 3rd

Who knows what Stupor Bowl XII has in store, but I figure another 3rd place is possible.

I started as a bike courier in Minneapolis in the fall of 2003. It was shortly after I met Sarah and I made the infamous decision to drop out of school to ride my bike for a living (a very meager one). I had known about messenger racing for sometime, but was a little disappointed when there were zero races in my first four months on the job. After tasting a little success at Stupor Bowl 7 (Little Guy’s first victory) I decided to promote a messenger race in late March 2004. I decided to call the race, “MonkeyCat” and it was loosely based on going to various parks across the city and counting Monkey Bars. It was the first non-Stupor related messenger race in Minneapolis in over a year. The turnout was good, but the real success was that it spawned the “____Cat” series of 2004.
I believe there were 9 alleycats in that 6 month period and all of them were fun and enjoyable…all of them except:

The “Matt Cat” was put on by none other than The Little Guy. While I do not remember all of the exact details of this crappy race, what I do remember is that the entire purpose of this race was to relive the Little Guy’s residential history in the city of Minneapolis. The stops had to be done in order (as was his life) and included a little known street near the Witches Hat in Prospect Park to a deep south location off of 46th and Nicollet. It was a complete jumbled mess and the only one laughing at the end of the affair was the Little Guy. I took home second in this race just losing out to a former messenger who was visiting from New York. I came in through the back door at Grumpy’s downtown and the winner came in through the front door and he beat me by a scant 10seconds. It was the closest I had ever gotten to the yellow bag at the time.

A few months later I was given another flyer from the Little Guy for Plaque Attack. He had been talking up this race for sometime and he was all giddy about the pun within the title. The premise was that we would race around town looking for information on various placards. The final stop had something to do with a dentist’s office (hence the ‘plaque’). Begrudgedly, I showed up to defend the yellow bag that I had retained for the three previous races. I was one of two people to show up at the bench that night and the Little Guy was a little mad. The race was never held and the flyer is a collector’s item.

More on the 2004 Alleycat season at a later date, including one of the best races to ever hit the streets of Minneapolis.

In the summer of 2002 I decided to ride my bicycle to Chicago to make the “1,000 Person Critical Mass.” We had planned the trip for sometime and the only thing I needed to get was a new bike, as my Specialized Rockhopper was a bit to beefy for the long trip. On one of our weekly Saturday night rides out of the Dinkytown McDonald’s parking lot that we had started to get some miles in before our trip we discovered a heavily discounted Surly Cross Check in the Express Bike Shop window on Snelling Avenue and Marshall in St. Paul. The next day I went in and bought the Cross Check and we were off to Chicago within the week.

After getting back from Chicago and all of the miles that I had put on the bike I decided to take a stab at bike racing before the summer was over. I ventured online and found the Minnesota Cycling Federation website and took a gander at the schedule. I saw that there was a race in downtown St. Paul in two weeks time. It was just enough time to order a new pair of shorts from Nashbar and new pair of socks from Now Sports on Snelling (I opted for the “No Dope” socks). I had no idea what to expect. All I knew was that a few friends were going to come down and see me race.

They got to see me race. For four laps. In fact, one of my friends was nice enough to take a picture of me and framed it as such that you couldn’t see the field about to lap me at the start/finish line:

It was a very short and miserable experience. I thought I looked damn good in my Celtic soccer jersey and cyclocross bike, but the officials didn’t think it was okay for me to finish the beginners race. It cost me something like $30 ($20 plus a one day) to race in that race. It ammounted to $8.50 per lap and I was so pissed off at “the man,” that I didn’t try racing for another two years at the Durand Road Race with Little Guy. It took some time for me to believe that it was worth the money, afterall, I had done quite a few mountain bike races by this point and they were much more enjoyable and friendly.

Perhaps others can share their first race experiences.

Doug did.

Sarah and I are heading to the Minnesota Wild versus Toronto Maple Leafs game tonight.

I wish this guy was still playing:

Although, he looked much better in the red and black:

Should be fun.

A few weeks ago Sarah and I went to the downtown St. Paul library. It is truly a gem and all residents of the Twin Cities should stop by just to take a look at the place. While we were there I picked up a few books. One of the books I picked up was the AIA Guide To The Twin Cities by Larry Millett. When we brought the books to check out. Since it had been a few years since I had checked a book out of the library I needed to get a new card. After filling out the form and handing over my proof of address I was informed that I had $28.75 in fines from 2002. The books were returned, about 3 years after the fact, and the library just fined me the maximum. Oh, snap.

Now that I am older and more responsible I decided to renew my books well before the due date so I wouldn’t incur anymore fines. As I was going through this process I discovered that some chump has placed the AIA book on hold and I need to return it in about a week. Argh!

The AIA Guide is the ultimate book for architecture enthusiasts and nerds. It contains a neighborhood by neighborhood guide to all of the houses, buildings and treasures of the Twin Cities. There are AIA guides to cities all across the world and if you ever want to take a nice tour of a city pick up one of these books and enjoy.

(Photo from Placeography)
Since the book needed to be returned Sarah and I decided to hit up one of the maps and we soon discovered the William Banholzer house in the West 7th Street neighborhood in St. Paul. The house was built for a former owner of a brewey and it is quite the site as it commands the entire neighborhood near the old Schmidt Brewey. As Millett notes in the guide, “The house, by a certain historical irony, was taken over by the Hazelden Fellowship Club in 1953 and now serves as a home for people being treated with drug and alcohol addiction.”

I think the house looks like the mansion that the bad guy from Scooby Doo lives in. You know, Old Man Masters from the haunted amusement park? This house will be featured on the upcoming, “Little Guy and Super Rookie Non-Expert Cool Stuff Ride” this summer!

P.S. There is a cool crit course right down the street from here.

Here is the special report of the inauguration from the venerable Canadian program “This Hour Has 22min.”

The Inauguration In Washington

Good show. Filmed in Halifax of all places.

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Am I the only one watching the Australian Open?

Did anyone else see the Serbian/Croat pushing match that turned into chair throwing outside of the stadium?

Well, here is the story from The Australian.

I have been quite sick for the past few days.

I am blaming this guy:

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Who remembers this awesome manifest for Stupor Bowl 8 that appeared in the Onion?

That was a damn good race if I can say so myself.

This was the year when the temps were about 50degrees and we started under the Hennepin Ave bridge to avoid detection, but sure enough, Kevin from Milwaukee got tagged for running the redlight off the bridge near the Fed…he then went on to get second place–what a ride! There were a ton of other great things that happened that year.

There was an awesome flyer/t-shirt designed by my brother which still gets rocked all oever.

We got high quality printing from a member of the local community.

The highlight was a drunk member of Team Puma taking a swing at me for not awarding him the prize for best trackstand.

The best stop?

The 22nd Ave Station. They kicked Tommy out after the first swarm of 20 riders came in for a stamp.

Good times.

I once rode in an elevator with Walter Mondale. Kind of strange considering he was a former candidate for the Presidency, and a vice-president. It was kind of surreal. If you come on the Little Guy and Super Rookie “We Are Not Experts Bicycle House Tour” this summer we will show you his house in the Kenwood neighborhood of Minneapolis.

It is quite humble considering he was the #2.

Kaka isn’t head to Manchester City after all.

The fans of AC Milan showed up in full force outside of his apartment. They had the flares and all:

What a way to keep your best player around. Major props to Kaka for turning down record money to stay with a team and city that he loves. There are not enough people like him in the sporting world. Good for him.

Crappy for Manchester City.

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I am extremely sick.