Today I watched for the second time in the last five months ‘Garden State’ which stars Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. Braff also was the writer and the director of the movie. I remember distinctly liking the movie the first time I watched it all the way up until the end. I figured I would give in another shot just to see if I had missed a message of some kind that would justify the crappy ending. Nope.
What is it with movies? Why do they have to set you up for a great viewing experience only to let you down so hard? ‘Garden State’ in my mind has the makings of a wonderful movie; great actors, wonderful cinematography, dry wit and among other things an awesome soundtrack. Yet, in the end it lets me down, way down.
While in college I began to discover that ‘the happy ending’ is an American fascination. We always want the underdog to succeed, the guy get the girl and the good guy win. But, in reality it doesn’t always happen that way. The underdog almost always loses(except when #15 seed Hampton beats #2 seed Iowa State in March Madness), the guy doesn’t always get the girl, and good guy usually loses(like when Hulk Hogan is attacked by Andre the Giant’s manager in Wrestle Mania V).
So here is my incomplete list of movies that start out strong, but in the end fail to achieve greatness.
This list is expandable with your own additions in the comment area of this blog!
1. ‘Citizen Kane’ why would you end the movie in the beginning with a word like “Rosebud?” If I was involved with the making of this movie I would have burnt the sled right away.
2. ‘The Village’ almost anything M. Night Shyamalan does has a really crappy ending. ‘Sixth Sense’ is another example. Dumb dumb dumb dumb endings. Wait. I almost forgot another one of his movies that has a crappy ending ‘Unbreakable.’ I kind of liked ‘Unbreakable’ but then I saw the rest of his movies and they are all the same.
3. ‘The Titanic’ sure the boat sinks. But, mix it up a little bit. Save DiCaprio and the rest of the poor schmucks for once. This movie, according to IMDB has been remade 8 times prior to the 1997 blockbuster. James Cameron had the possibility to change history! If he would of done this I wouldn’t have been subjected to hearing how sad the movie was in 11th grade.
4. ‘Rambo: First Blood Part II’ this is by far the best Rambo movie. We get to see justice American style! Whoooo hoooo. I love the steroids that Stalone is on in this one. I bet Lance and Roberto wouldn’t mind a little bit of that action! This movie would be a lot better if Rambo died. Because then we wouldn’t be subjected to having to watch Rambo III were he is fighting alongside future members of the Taliban in Russian occupied Afghanistan.
5. ‘American Flyers’ This movie was great because I never thought Kevin Costner was going to die. They led me along like a sheep and then all of a sudden he is the one with the cancer, or whatever it was that was going to finish him, but didn’t because the movie was made in Hollywood.
6. ‘Chinatown’ don’t even get me started with the ending of this movie. Pointless!
7. ‘East Lake Story’ This movie isn’t known by many people, but it premiered the other night in Minneapolis at a bike messenger film festival. It was going great until dispencer died at the end, for a girl. It was really tragic, but in the sequel my character continues on to become the leader of the Unicorns and takes out all the Scorpion haters. RIP dispencer.
Well add your favorite movie that has a crappy ending. Here are just a few that come to my mind; ‘Panic Room,’ ‘Weekend at Bernies,’ and ‘Top Gun.’
super rookie?…or should i say STUPOR rookie…suck it you liberal tree-hugging bike-hippie. ALL endings are happy for us republicans..
Comment by ann coulter — November 30, 2005 @ 4:45 am
planet of the apes…not only did the ending suck but it supported the ridiculous notion that humans evolved from apes. only god-hating, liberal bike-lovers would believe such a thing.
Comment by ann coulter — November 30, 2005 @ 4:57 am
“Dancer In The Dark”: She gets it in the end. The movie would have been a hundred times better if the Governer called at the last minute and gave her a full pardon. What a waste of film.
Comment by Bruce Leeroy — November 30, 2005 @ 5:08 am
“The Upside of Anger” — The mom’s righteous angry for 3 years because dad moved to Sweden with his secretary. Then they discover his body in a well in the backyard. Turns out he had not had an affair or left the country — shoot, he never left the yard! More than stupid . . .
Thanks for throwing a bone to the Cyclones (even in ignominious defeat — but after KU on Saturday, I believe defeat is all there is). Go Hawks!
Comment by Mom — November 30, 2005 @ 6:58 am
Labyrinth. If David Bowie begged me to let him be my slave, would there be any questions?! I mean how unrealistic! Who wouldn’t want to be the goblin queen to his goblin king? And what’s up with that dance party in her bedroom afterwards? Would you want all of those monsters and goblins and creatures jumping on your bed?
Whatever, it’s still my favorite movie.
Comment by Sarah — November 30, 2005 @ 9:44 am
i must admit, i am throughly impressed by your review of “east lake story”. it is quite impressive if for no other reason than that you have yet to actually see the movie…
Comment by dispencer — November 30, 2005 @ 10:37 am
Amelie – all that mysterious build-up…and then he knocks on her front door, they do the deed, and suddenly they’re just another boring couple. No more mystery. I suspect the following: Amelie probably no longer has time for the old guy downstairs, who becomes depressed all over again because he’s lost his friend and link to the outside world. The woman downstairs in her building discovers that the letter from her lover was a forgery and that Amelie had broke into her apartment, and makes life quite miserable for Amelie. Amelie becomes jealous of her boyfriend looking at naked women in the peep booths and whispering in other women’s ears at the amusement park fun house. The boyfriend gets fed up with this, sleeps with Amelie’s coworker, and once Amelie finds out, she is no longer content to skip stones. Instead, she must seek the help of a therapist, who points out her stalker-ish tendencies.
Also Neverending Story – As a child, I always fell asleep long before the end of the movie, and having no concept of the limits of technology, I believed that it really never ended. The first time I stayed awake until the credits rolled, I cried. Indeed, the story does end. The title is such a crock of shit.
Comment by Gilby — November 30, 2005 @ 10:52 am
foreign movies in general—I hate subtitles. why do they have to talk all funny? if they just talked All-Normal-Like™ then we wouldn’t have to read the whole damn movie. by the time the credits roll I usually feel like I finished doing research for a god derned paper.
and now that I think about it, foreign books suck ass too—the characters always shit their pants and walk around like that all day. either that or their leg slowly turns into a turnip and they gain the ability to snack on themselves. personally I prefer american literature like mcdermont’s antique rifle appraiser, though the handgun edition was kinda dry.
what was the question again?
Comment by steaktaco — November 30, 2005 @ 5:28 pm
They call me Mr. Glass!!! That was just pathetic, horrible, and just a flat out terrible movie. Do you remember when you had me basically tell you word for word “The Village”. Actually I did that for about 20 movies. Good times!
Comment by bgotch — November 30, 2005 @ 5:30 pm
1) Lone Wolf McQuade. Could still rate as the greatest action flick/love story of our times. The ending just was not the best. Sure the bulldozer against the halftrack ruled (Chuck in the dozer) but when the bad guy ran into a building and then Chuck through a grendade and it blew to bits, that was just not the best ending, especially after a kick ass phoney kung fu against phoney karate fight out.
2) Return of the King. Not having the scene where Saruman (sp?) gets backstabbed by Grima in the Shire and then a bunch of crazed hobbits filling the slimebag full of arrows was a huge shame. Oh sure, they kept in the ring in the volcano part, but having the old white wizard killing hairy midgets for weed was an important part of the story.
Comment by El Torino — November 30, 2005 @ 8:01 pm